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There's nothing more fucking annoying than the sound of the train passing by underground when you're trying to get to sleep or when you're trying to relax. Right now I'm trying to do the latter after failing the former.

Slept for two hours tonight, 12-2. Felt like I was awake the whole time. Could not get back to sleep afterward. Actually feel like sleeping now but have no faith that my body would cooperate with the obvious best idea.

I hate this, this state that I'm in. Yes, I'm pretty sure it has to do with the country that I'm in, too. Why did I come here? Did I really think I would fit in? I fit in like a sore thumb. There's no problem for me with sticking out like a thumb but if you're gonna be sore it's not worth the trouble, thanks. No, seriously; I like sticking out, but this is too much, just too much.

I played piano today, or keyboard rather. A good keyboard but still a Yamaha thing. My host father has it in my host mom's room, and I just never got around to asking him to play on it, finally forced myself to do so today. Sang and played a little. Saw a piano performance the day before, wasn't completely pleased but it at least got better and gave me something to constructively think about. The Yamaha he played on and/or the acoustics was/were totally inadequate. I felt like I could've played better. Probably could've two years ago when my technique was still there. I still could've done the easier Chopin pieces better; he had no touch for lyricism, at least not at the beginning of the performance.

Ugh, too tired to blog no more. I can at least go back to sleep, not back to bed (I'm in that)... this new BEP song is helping me relax. They're so good, the Black Eyed Peas.