Why isn't

Why isn't the protagonist in Murakami's novels ever the one that runs away

I'm here lying in bed. Greg is lying in bed too; he came here to visit me in London and he's sleeping on a makeshift mattress on the floor that had better be really comfortable so that he doesn't wake up to me typing.

A few things on my mind right now
-Why do I walk around all day with people wondering if I'm all right? Am I a vampire? If so, am I alive? (end eurovision joke)
-When my mom came to Japan, she thought that I didn't know Japanese at all before I had come there. I had been studying it for two years. How much do we know each other, then?
-My words are dropping like 5000 pounds. Except for that last sentence. That is, my words are hitting heavier than they normally do, my exaggerations more extreme, my opinions more negative. Why is this happening? Well, I know reasons why. Is this necessary?
-I don't know what my exit is. It's not good to be on a highway and not know what your exit is. Exit from what? From just not being able to express myself, feel like I'm accomplishing something I want to accomplish here rather than that I want to get out of the way. For Japan, frisbee was one of the many exits that just came off. Life is not a highway because in life, you don't really have an idea of which exits are going to come next. Why am I using the highway metaphor? I don't know. I think I'm stepping around the argument.
-How long can I step around things before I start stepping in the right direction? Do I have to get forced in the right direction, as though I were on a street with dog shit spontaneously materializing, nearing 100% of the street, and I eventually were forced to detour onto a street that led somewhere else? At least in Paris other roads always lead somewhere. But my roads, um...

I'm obviously not anywhere that makes any sense to me right now. I am very conscious that my words either make no sense or are going nowhere very fast. So I'm brogging.

Did you know that Japan has the most blogs out of any country in the world, and it's for self-expression rather than for news commentary? See how much I have in common with Japan?

Haha, having something in common with a country. When you start to compare yourself to a commonality in a country (as a lot of people do with American patriotism) you know you're in trouble.

I miss Japan. 日本に戻りたい。 (I want to return to Japan.) Maybe I will.

I've had enough of random places. I need something to go back to. Paris can get visited without me. Unfortunately, I can't leave Paris.

I want to turn "unfortunately" into "fortunately" but how?? ???

Whatever happened to just getting it done
I used to quote random pop songs all the time during junior and senior years of high school in an attempt to figure things out with my life over away messages and profile changes. This didn't eventually help. It was just a bunch of hints. Wait, that doesn't make sense.

Let me be a teenager for a second.
One night stand
I thought I'd let you know
One night stand
I've gotta hit the road
One night stand
You've gotta let me go
'Cause I'M IN LOVE WITH ROCK AND ROLL!!
If I were in Japan or at home or at Tufts freshman year I would sing it. But I'm not.

Dammit.