Respect

Respect. I haven't been respecting the people I should lately. I haven't had respect for things like traditions or French people or fiancés. And you know why?

It all starts with respect for yourself.

So that's it. I'm going to start making sure I respect myself, and to that end: no more alcohol. No more letting myself be carried away by that shit, and no more allowing it to be bought for me.

No more doubting my capabilities in French. Time to go after every French person with all the conversation I've got. No more "I'm too tired to do this" or "there's too much shit to do." No more "I fear bureaucracy." No more doubting that I can't get what I thought I had somewhere else down the road.

No more scared that if I break the truth and a crisis happens that I'll ruin everything in front of me. No more "I can't wait." No more "I have to wait." Wait, what?

No more waiting for summer to come by - I at least have gotten that right lately. No more I'm not sure what to right--I'm gay, okay? Glad that's over.

But it never is.

In any case, no more where am I. I know where I am, I know that certain crises are bound to happen and that I am an adult; I have no instinct that I can handle them now, but I need to develop one.

Let's get this started. Paris, Part 1. I am who I am and I forgot that worrying about other people's respect for me means I'm not letting me respect myself. Let's go.
Alex